"Kya ek thappad ki wajah se koi apne ghar ko chhodne ka faisla kar sakta hai".

This was an eye-opening dialogue from the film "Thappad" in which the married female protagonist is suppose to reconcile and forget the insult imparted by her husband on her publicly.

The film projects reality of many married women who are expected to keep silence, as a sign of tolerance, in many such situations which they face in their marital life. This often puts her in a position where she feels disconnected from the surrounding environment, and owns self, getting into a state of isolation.

This gives rise to many questions which are woven around the status of married women in our society.

Is Isolation fate of married women?

Is self respect of a married woman above marriage?

Is the identity of a woman lost or merged with the marital identity?

Marriage is a significant event in a women's life which affect her emotional, mental, social and physical well-being. Most important is the challenge to her Individuality. She desires knight in the shining armour who comes and takes her into a family where she is expected to keep everyone before her. So is it marriage which changes a woman or she is suppose to change under the patriarchal system of social functioning ?

This is to an extent that women themselves begin to believe that to keep her husband's family happy is the sole purpose of a married woman. She has to forget being a human, an individual and imbibe the role of a wife, daughter in law and a mother. This cycle continues from generation to generation where the girl is taught since childhood by her mother and grandmothers that doing “SEVA” of her in laws and to take care of her husband is her prime responsibility. If she fails to play the role perfectly then she feels guilty and apologetic about it. This gradually begins to erode herself worth and self-confidence.

Someone once said, "I have forgotten what I am good at"

Straight from a Women's heart..

My Mother's desire was to see me married. As per her belief this is how girls grow up and the responsibility of the parents is also complete. I also thought that maybe my prince is waiting and imagined myself to be a princess.

With these dreams I got married with all rituals and reached my in-laws' house. I didn't even begin to live those dreams that people began finding faults in me. Maybe they were more interested in the things that came along with me. A strange toxic environment I began to feel around me. I could not understand which place did I come. Living in someone else house one has to live on their terms, like, how they keep you, what should you eat, how to speak, everything has to be followed according to them and your desires and thought process begin to end. It's like you are given the responsibility of a new maid.

Then a day comes with a jolt when I am told that there were more marriage options of beautiful girls with money and good job, and I was a wrong deal for their son. I just slogged all day, listening to fault findings, taking care of everyone's choice. Every day husband would come, touch and leave. I could never feel the real loving touch of a life partner. I would weep in the darkness of night in the isolation of a bathroom. That loneliness still scares me.

After one month passed, I said no to that fear, I said no to all those people, said no to all those favors which they thought they were giving to me. I even said no to false love, to that fear to answer the society. I questioned myself, "Is there any other way?", "How does everyone cope with this"? Maybe I don't have enough guts right now but if I continue like this then Loneliness would become my habit.

We should be able to Realize that why do we accept this kind of life and not able to fight it out.

Question yourself, Am I made for this kind of life.?

Today I am happy that I am confronting to build myself, I am fighting for my dreams and to own my own house. Today I feel empowered, I have a purpose in my life, and I am trying to motivate others for the same. I teach computer skills, soft skills, writing skills on platforms like LinkedIn and offers required technical knowledge. I share life lessons to empower others. Now I believe in learning and teaching which could be of help to some other woman like me.

Conclusion

"Em"powerment arises from within, what comes from outside is "Power". No external power given in the form of equal rights, being at par with men or to demand happiness from others can make anyone empowered.

The phase of isolation could be spend grieving, or it could be accepted as a time to self-introspect deciding what the woman actually want out of her life. Loneliness could be beginning to walk on the path of self-empowerment, which would enhance self-worth, self-esteem and to realize the power of being a woman.

First she is a human, then a woman, later would come the social roles of duty and responsibility.

Self-love is responsibility towards her own self and that no one else can give to her

We are proud to say that our team of SJiT Recruitment Consultants is on a venture that focuses on bringing more women to work. We train and develop them to emerge as the country's best talents and we believe in supporting the next generation. For job assistance contact us today. HR@sjit.live, www.sjit.co.in, follow our page